You know, when nothing seems to go right
Last week, I had a client cancel on me last minute, found out I needed to switch health insurance, irritated an old knee injury, AND had a delay in getting my coaching certification. All in 48 hours!
What do you do when you have one of those weeks? Well, my first tendency was to order pizza, find the whiskey, and cry about it. And I’m going to be honest, that’s exactly what I did at first.
But as good as homemade apple cider and whiskey taste, it really didn’t make me feel that better. And then I remembered that I’m working on being more aware of my default reactions when I’m stressed out. (It’s easy to forget when the stress actually shows up- oops!)
Kindness and Curiosity
So I took the day off and reread one of my favorite books, Lost and Found by Geneen Roth. The whole point is that we turn to eating and spending money (among many, many other distractions) so we can avoid the problems in our lives.
One thing Geneen and I have in common is that we believe in curiosity, especially when something is going wrong. In other words, what about this situation is really bothering me?
I started with the knee injury. A little background- about a year ago, I found out that part of the cartilage in my right knee had died as a side effect of blood clots. It’s been a very difficult road to recovery, and I’m frequently impatient with how little progress I seem to be making. This weekend, we went to a state park to walk on a supposedly “easy to moderate” trail. When we got there, it was so steep I couldn’t even walk 50 yards down the trail that we had driven two hours to get to. I was devastated.
Back to curiosity- I wanted to get real about why I was so upset. I had blamed the trail for sucking, the park ranger for misleading me, my boyfriend for wanting to go on the hike in the first place. None of that seemed to work. What if there was another way to look at the issue?
What I Came Up With
After thinking on the issue in the shower (the best time for aha moments), I realized I was really mad at myself. Mad because I didn’t research the trail before we went, because I had the knee injury in the first place, and because I ruined our day.
It seems counterintuitive, but once I figure out the real issue behind the problem, I’m almost always able to forgive myself for it. It’s like a collective sigh of relief from my body once I hit that moment of truth. Sure, it still wasn’t a pleasant experience. But I’ve released myself from the drama and anger of running through the event over and over in my head.
Stop. Be Kind. Be Curious.
Are you having one of those weeks? Step away from the cookies, take some time to be truly kind to yourself, and get curious about what’s really going on.
If you want some help figuring out what’s really bothering you, or to learn how to use inquiry to question your reaction, I’m here for you! Just click the button below to set up a completely free, no obligations session with me. Whether you sign up for coaching or just want 30 minutes of free coaching, I promise you will get value for your time! Sign up now because this offer only lasts until October 31.